More About Children And The Death Of Their Pet
Pets will die. It is a fact of life sadly. In most cases it will be a child's first encounter with death and one they often recall for ever. Thus it is important to consider how you will deal with it in advance.
It may sound cruel but when you first talk about getting your pet, it is advisable to talk with your child about the fact that one day it will die. You may even tell them roughly how old they will be when it dies so you put it in terms they will understand. See article 'What is the age expectancy of my dog or cat?'. This may affect what type of pet you get.
The next time to discuss your pet's death would be as it ages visibly. Comment on how much slower he is getting and how its hearing may not be as good as it was. Prepare your child for what will happen one day.
How you discuss the death will depend on how you yourself feel about death and how you want to educate your child about it. If you come from a religious standpoint then you may want to talk about your pet going to heaven or being with God. If you are more scientific then you will explain how the body functions start to struggle to cope as the pet ages and will eventually pack up.
Nothing really prepares us for the death of a pet who is run over suddenly or who develops an illness and dies prematurely. It is going to be a shock for everyone and will need to be sensitively dealt with over time.
There are mixed views as to how to say goodbye to a dead pet. Some people prefer to let the vet deal with everything and others like to be there until the last moment. Children are generally more robust than adults and honesty may be the best policy. If they don't see their pet dead they may find it hard to come to terms with. Even children of a very young age like to kiss their pet goodbye and later in life if they haven't had this opportunity, regret it.
We have all heard of well meaning mums who dash out and replace a dead hamster or small animal or bird in their desire to spare their child the heartache of loss but this is not honest and children will usually notice, if not now, when they are older and wonder why their pet hamster lived for so long. Realising that their mother kept replacing it might well lead them to wondering what else she was not honest about.
The grieving process is important for a child and cannot be shortened artificially by introducing even an overtly new pet. As they grieve they are learning an important skill in life and a lesson that will serve them well in coping with the death of humans they are close to. Be there to support and comfort and let them comfort you as well. Talk about your lost pet and enjoy looking at photos and reminiscing about the good times you all had.
There are lots of books on the market designed to help children talk about death of a pet and these can be found in your local library or bought through Amazon.
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